Another reason I can't be Republican: I'm unable to instantly froth at the mouth when the President sends me a holiday card rather than a Christmas-specific card. Seriously, people, come on - you mean to tell me it's just the lefties who're nuts?

Madonna has to fend off album controversy - but surprisingly, the rabbis she offended didn't bring up the fact that her latest lyrics were ghostwritten by a team of eight-year-olds.

Since Jen's posted about 'em here and here, I'll note that in the bunch of super-green organic bananas we bought 17 days ago, there are now two that are kinda-sorta half-ripe.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled reality.