Listen, after shooting sports in a nor'easter two nights in a row, I shouldn't even be sober enough to be able to type this.

On 95, originally uploaded by aerialcrustacean.

Mmm... bacon dispenser.

Murder sentencing and football in the ongoing nor'easter today. Yeah, sounds like a typical Friday the 13th.

What, did Lou Dobbs get tired of people demanding facts and non-racist diatribes?

I get to cover a soccer championship game in a nor'easter - for the second year in a row! Soccer with 50-mph wind gusts is hilarious.

I applaud Cashpoint for finding such a diverse group of obvious crackheads for their unintentionally hilarious commercials.

Signs my wife has PMS: she cries at the Southwest Bags commercial.

Announcers tell us McNabb hasn't thrown an INT in forever, so it was inevitable he'd throw that pick.

Hey FOX: can we let Joe Buck ruin either just football or just baseball, not both?

Note to self: check to make sure you have all the ingredients for awesome veggie soup before you get halfway through and have to improvise.

CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCH!!!!!

Teixeira looks like Silvio Dante when he makes that grimace-y face.

Yankees: $1.5 billion in salary in 9 years, 1 WS title. Florida Marlins: $281 million in salary in 9 years, 1 WS title. Hmm.

There is no greater sin than mediocre pizza.

Ugh. This election still isn't decided locally, and deadline's staring me down.

So Maine loves pot but hates gays, it seems. Gay marriage people: bring this back up when everyone is stoned next year.

Election night ends, originally uploaded by aerialcrustacean.

Transmitting from the parking lot, 'cause that's how we roll.

Hey, Walmart: fuck you. Christmas is in two months, and you're shoving it in my face already?

Winning ugly is still winning.

Writing in, originally uploaded by aerialcrustacean.

Flapjacks (and my shoe) voted: you should, too.

Oh, crap, McCarver can't even pronounce "Iggles" correctly.

Phantom score and an intentional walk to Chooch - what a weird inning.

Prediction: Wanda Sykes' new talk show will last 17 episodes, tops.

Rally lobsters come into the game: Flapjacks goes on my head, Utley homers. Flapjacks stays on my head.

Prediction: the American Express Faces commercial will be more memorable than anything from the Super Bowl.

Digital audio got garbled, and now Joe Buck sounds like Darth Vader's learning-disabled little brother.

Phillies starters for Games 5, 6 and 7: Cliff Lee, Cliff Lee, Cliff Lee.

Multimedia message, originally uploaded by aerialcrustacean.

Attention, pumpkin butter addicts: Trader Joe's is your dealer.

Damn rain delays.

I am officially the loudest person here, as evidenced by Werth's homer.

Pettite is a human glacier. I could get a nice nap in between pitches.

The umps are gonna need to be escorted by tanks after that call.

Uh, A-Roid, aren't you supposed to be the best player on the field?

Swisher hasn't hit in a month. WTF?

Jayson Werth: awful facial hair, big bat.

Uh, Brett Myers? This should be interesting.

twitpic.com/ntmw0 -

Dear Phillies: watch and learn from the first half here of Iggles-Jints.

Not messing around, originally uploaded by aerialcrustacean.

This is a serious rally cap.

Best costume of the day: a dude with 8 dolls strapped to his waist, bandolier-style - he was Jon Gosselin.

Nice that ESPN360 jacks the volume 2-3x during commercials. That isn't annoying or anything.

My mom could've made that throw, Johnny Damon.

Die in a fire, Joe Buck.

Continue to die in a fire, Joe Buck.

Geez, Joe Buck, be a little more pissed off at Ibanez's double.

Chase hurt? More like Chase dishes out the hurt.

McCarver's drunk. Jerek Liter?

Good God, the umpires got a call right? I'm shocked.

This just in: Cliff Lee beat the crap out of Chuck Norris in between innings.

Choochtober, baby!

OK, Phils: as a lifelong Red Sox fan, there's nothing I want more than for Pedro to wreck the Yankees one more time. Make it happen.

The Flapjacks 2009 Campaign Bus is hitting the road. And by "campaign bus", I mean my Hyundai. flappuccino.livejournal.com

DeSean Jackson basically gave me a win in fantasy football with a single carry and a single catch. That's absurd.

Hey, nice job gift-wrapping the ALCS for the Yankees, Scott Kazmir.

Candy madness, originally uploaded by aerialcrustacean.

Wegmans Halloween characters: Kodos, pirate ghost... and, uh, Jesus. Or scary old man. Or maybe zombie Jesus.

Listen, friendly voice-over lady, no matter how many times you repeat it, "kohls" is not a verb.

She knows kung-fu, originally uploaded by aerialcrustacean.

Fear the bathroom ninja.

Not pictured: the other six rows, originally uploaded by aerialcrustacean.

There are a few choices if you feel like being a ninja this year.

Couldn't let Lackey throw to one more batter, could you, Scioscia? Jeebus.

I'm not saying he was the only thing, but Flapjacks was on my head for the Angels to close out the game tonight. Rally lobsters FTW.

Every time someone does work on the email server at work, the entire network blows up for a few days. Probably not a good thing.

Shooting an assignment in an elementary school library, so I'm in Dinosaurs Are AWESOME Central.

Hey, awesome, my camera is now a paperweight. And I'm supposed to be shooting a field hockey game right now. FML.

Woo, Werth! Memo to Vicente Padilla: if you're missing your spots this badly in the first inning, it's gonna be a long night.

World Series-bound, baby! Kickass fireworks view from the blimp cam online.

Pretty subdued in our neighborhood right now - couple "woo!"s and bottle rockets, no pandemonium.

NLCS, originally uploaded by aerialcrustacean.

Flapjacks says, "go team Red!"

A drunk dude passed out under a truck out back. Not sure if he was mad because the cops woke him up, or that they poured out his 40.

Good to see Vlad can still smack homers at age 67.

Hey, thanks for that 15-minute closeup of Joba's face, FOX. Now I know exactly where he's storing those extra 75 pounds.

Bobby Abreu just earned himself the same middle name as Bucky Dent. Is there a dumber player in the majors?

Memo to the Dodgers: leave it up and in the middle of the strike zone against Ryan Howard, and he'll hit it into New Jersey.

Ugh. Let's hope the Eagles losing to the worst team in any sport is not an omen of bad things to come.

In other news, I think Tom Brady might be back at 100%.

The Dodgers were aware there was supposed to be a ballgame tonight, right?

Lots o' greens, originally uploaded by aerialcrustacean.

Operation: Big Salad is in effect.

Novelty packaging, originally uploaded by aerialcrustacean.

In this case, vintage = boring.

Wild side, originally uploaded by aerialcrustacean.

Really, snuggie? You expect us to believe there are wild women tarting it up in your products? C'mon now.